


Imminent Epilogues

by decayinghorizon



Category: Death Note
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 02:50:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7416685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/decayinghorizon/pseuds/decayinghorizon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Of course everything broke just when Matt thought it could be fixed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Imminent Epilogues

**Author's Note:**

> Back at it again with the sad Matt fanfiction.

Matt gets the call, and it makes sense. Mello never did have any other friends.  
He hears his voice, and remembers looking out their window to see Mello storming out of Wammy's without him, without saying goodbye, without ever looking back.  
Remembers how bad that fucked him up, and for how long.  
Mello was his only friend, too.

He hesitates, messes with the goggle strap around his neck, leans heavily against his kitchen counter with his head in one hand and his phone in the other and listens to Mello breathe and considers refusing because he's still a little bitter, even after all this time. Five whole years since he's heard that voice.  
But he agrees, eventually, because he never could say no to Mello. 

Besides, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't interested in all this Kira shit. He wants to know what Mello's fighting for, wants to understand what makes this worth it.  
He wants to help end it.

When he finally sees Mello again, he's really not prepared. He's not sure what he expected, but it wasn't a huge, fresh scar mangling half of his face, it wasn't Mello looking older than he should, looking like he's been to hell and fought his way back out. Matt's imagination never could have conjured up this version of his best friend, this boy who's distant and cold and too young to look this haunted, this man he doesn't know.  
Matt looks at him and thinks he can smell smoke, the char on his skin and the ash in his hair. Gasoline and fire.  
He feels the familiar itch for a cigarette, and he feels sick.

He thinks he read an article about the explosion that did this. He knew Mello was in LA, he should've connected the dots. He should have known it had to be him.  
He should close his mouth and stop staring. He should say something.  
He doesn't know what to say.

Mello looks back at him with eyes made of ice, and Matt knows he hasn't changed. Compared to Mello, he's a fucking time capsule. He's taller and less baby-faced than he was when they were 14, but he still has the same stupid dyed-red hair hanging in his face and he thinks he might've been wearing this exact same shirt the last time he saw Mello. He's nothing new, nothing dangerous or exciting.  
He hasn't melted half his face like candle wax, he hasn't played too close to any flames or made friends with any mafiosos. He was at Wammy's until he wasn't, and then he came here.

Mello's not saying anything either.

They're face-to-face for the first time in five years, and it feels less like a reunion and more like an awkward first meeting, like strangers having a staring contest to see who'll crack first. 

"Take a picture, Matt, it'll last longer."  
It's so fucking stupid, so like their sarcastic exchanging of teen movie clichés in Wammy's, that he cracks a smile, that they both do. And they're laughing together, easily and comfortably and like it's been five days instead of five years since they were last together.  
Maybe Mello hasn't changed much at all.  
Maybe they can make this work.

They go over the plan, and it's fine with Matt. It's easy, it's definitely doable, it's maybe an hour of their lives and then they can move on, past all this. They can start over, finally.

It's not until he's in a high speed car chase with some Kira-worshipper woman's bodyguards and sees a blockade in front of him, until he sees himself hurtling toward it with all his escape routes closed off, that he starts to think that maybe it shouldn't be this way. That maybe he shouldn't have taken this job, after all. Maybe the plan wasn't as black and white as he originally thought.

He could try to survive, but the thing is, he's pretty sure he won't.

It's the real-life equivalent of slamming his controller down on the table, getting up, and stomping away. A futile, frustrated hard out, a rage quit, the end of his patience and the end of the line. 

Except he can't walk away this time. 

All he can do is calm down, try to convince them not to shoot him, that he can be valuable, at least for information.

If they take him into custody, he's safe. He can look into an interrogator's eyes and smile all sweet and play nice and dodge questions, he can talk in circles and he can pick a handcuff lock after they leave the room, he can disappear after that. He just has to get there, get to point B, get past this save point.  
This isn't even a boss level, these are the grunts, the low-level enemies protecting the boss and this is the easy part, if he plays it right. 

He should have remembered that strategy games were never his thing.

He gets out of the car slowly, raises his hands above his head, and makes a joke, because hey, he's friendly, right. There's nothing to fear because he's not a threat, not really. One smoking distraction isn't anything to be afraid of, he's not who they're looking for.  
He hopes Mello's okay, he does, but he also really wants to save his own ass, and that feels more urgent, more important.

He's one wrong move away from a body bag and it's never been more clear how fucked he really is. 

They went after him instead of Mello, that was the plan. He wishes the plan had gone wrong, because Mello is a smaller, faster-moving target and he could have weaved between the blockades, could have wedged between cars. Dodging bullets would have been easy for Mello, but not for him. Hell, with that woman behind him, they wouldn't even have shot. That was the plan. The plan is fucking bullshit, the plan was a mistake.

The plan was for Mello to survive, it was never meant to protect Matt. He signed up as the sacrifice without ever realizing it. He was never going to survive. They went through the whole thing step-by-step, explained it all, but no one ever told him he could die, that he _would_ die.

It's just like Mello to leave him alone, to let Matt die for him.  
He hopes that Mello at least gets brought down with him.

He could run, but they'd shoot, and they'd hit, and he'd die.  
He's going to die anyway.  
His whole body is a target, and smooth talking isn't going to help anymore. He doesn't even talk that smooth, and despite acting like he doesn't care, he's really not ready to die.  
He's not even twenty years old.  
He's going to die five days before his birthday, he's five days from an adulthood he'll never see.  
Five years led up to this, to his death, and he wonders if it was always going to be this way.  
He's going to die a child, caught in Mello's fucking game, always caught up in Mello.  
Following him to the end.

All this for a game that Mello never even stood a chance of winning.

He's scared and they're all holding loaded guns, they're all fixed on him and he wants to close his eyes but he can't force himself to stop staring down the barrels, can't bring himself to look away from death when he and death are about to become so close. 

He panics, and instead of "please don't shoot", it comes out "you won't shoot."

And then they do.

**Author's Note:**

> This is. fairly similar to my other Matt fic (I never let you go.) but what can I say, I have a type. Also, realizing that this is the fourth angst fic I've posted here focusing on their deaths/Mello leaving and that I really need to chill and like, write an AU or something (probably still angsty).
> 
> songs I like with this fic are [ Car Underwater - Armor for Sleep](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rA0fLBBroTk) and [I Feel Exhausted - Everyone, Everywhere](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d91ihBqLiJo)


End file.
